Milestone Moment: Finding a New Way to Connect

When 10-year-old KJ* entered AFS’s E-ISFC program in January 2026, he was having difficulty managing intense emotions and experiences that often left him overwhelmed. His distress could escalate quickly, sometimes resulting in unsafe behavior and repeated hospitalizations. Rather than focusing only on what could be seen on the surface, KJ’s AFS team considered what his behavior might be communicating, and how they could help him feel safer, understood, and connected.

E-ISFC Director Rosa H. brought the team together to explore Intentional Engagement. This trauma-informed, relationship-based practice uses a young person’s interests, strengths, preferences, and cues as pathways to building trust. It can also support co-regulation, the process of helping a young person regain a sense of calm and safety through the steady presence of a trusted adult. Intentional Engagement is not simply a distraction during a difficult moment. It gives caseworkers and therapists another way to form meaningful connections, understand what helps a youth engage, and gradually expand their coping skills.

The team knew that KJ loved scary movies. One evening, his resource parent called his AFS caseworker because KJ was experiencing an especially intense episode. The caseworker responded in person and remained with him as he began to settle. At the right moment, she asked, “Would you like to watch Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’?”

KJ’s interest was immediate. He was captivated by the music, movement, and theatrical elements of the video. “Again,” he requested, and then again. They continued watching until he eventually fell asleep.

That evening revealed more than a favorite video. Music and dance offered KJ a new channel for expression, movement, joy, and connection. He began singing and dancing along to other videos, and his team incorporated that interest into his ongoing support. Since March 2026, KJ has not needed another hospitalization.

No single activity or intervention can account for a young person’s progress. For KJ, however, this moment gave his caregivers and AFS team an important new way to reach him, support regulation, and strengthen their relationship. What began with one music video became another tool in a broader, individualized plan of care.

AFS is now a trusted county partner in serving youth with some of the highest and most complex needs. This work calls on our caseworkers and behavioral health therapists to use an increasingly broad toolbox of clinical strategies, therapeutic supports, and engagement resources. County contracts fund essential services, but they do not always cover the individualized tools and experiences that can help a particular young person feel safe enough to connect, such as music and art materials, sensory tools, recreational activities, or meaningful community experiences.

Funds raised through Foster Learning help fill that gap. Donations give AFS teams the flexibility to respond to the young person in front of them and provide thoughtfully selected resources that support Intentional Engagement. For KJ, the opening came through music and dance. For another youth, it may be a sketchbook, a basketball, a cooking activity, or an opportunity to explore a new interest.

In the hands of a skilled caseworker or therapist, these tools can become much more than an activity. They can create an opening for trust, communication, self-expression, and connection that helps a young person begin to discover what works for them.

AFS is now a trusted county partner in serving youth with some of the highest and most complex needs.

*KJ’s name has been changed to protect his identity.