AFS Staff in Action: Averie Ramirez

Averie Ramirez, MSW, became the Assistant Program Director for East Bay Foster Care in September 2024. Get to know Averie and her work at AFS.

What are your main responsibilities at AFS?

I got hired as a caseworker. I recently got promoted to assistant program director. The main things are supervising caseworkers, approving time sheets and respite and just assisting my caseworkers with putting out any fires that need to happen, cultivating relationships with county workers and the other counties to make sure that we work harmoniously together in the system.

What led you to work in this field?

I got my BA in psychology, and I’ve always been interested in the mind and why people do the things that they do and how people work. But towards the end of my time in undergrad, the only pathway to continue on was to get a PhD and I didn’t particularly want to do that at the time. I still really don’t.

I started to branch out and just look at what other potential pathways I could take for grad school to get me a degree in something that I could actually work in the field and earn money at.

I stumbled upon social work, and I dug a little deeper and I figured out the different types of levels that you could work on and the different types of community communities that you could serve. I’ve always been really interested in serving children.

I graduated from my grad program in 2021, and I was just feverishly applying for jobs and I stumbled upon AFS. I never really saw myself working in foster care. When I got the job, I was like, oh, I’ll be here for two years and get my foot in the door and then work my way up. It’s been three and a half years now.

I just kind of stumbled upon it and I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I do. You fall in love with the families, you fall in love with the kids. And it’s really hard to sever those connections that you’ve made, even though most of it is putting out fires on a daily basis. When those times do roll around and you realize how much love you have for your clients and your families, it’s really hard to think about parting with them.

What would you say are the three best things about your job?

The three best things. I love my team. I love the camaraderie we have. I look forward to going to our team meetings. We’re all very collaborative, funny, and I just really enjoy the workplace culture that, specifically, the Oakland office has cultivated. Those connections with families and clients, and those special moments that come out where you see that the work that you’re doing is meaning something because it can’t always feel like that, especially when you’re just going through the motions on a day-to-day basis.

The other day, I was talking to one of my kids that I’ve had for these past three and a half years and he’s about to be 18 and he’s starting his senior year. We’re talking about senior portraits and senior activities. And I almost wanted to tear up. And I was like, oh my God, look at you growing up. I never thought we’d be here talking about this.

And my third thing, I really enjoy the hybrid lifestyle that we get at AFS. I recently got a new dog, so I enjoy spending time at home with her. AFS allows me to be flexible with my work schedule.

What would you say are the toughest parts about your job?

Adapting to different personalities and different work ethics, especially within the county. It can be difficult, and they have their barriers as well. But when you’re on call 24/7 and you some of the stuff that you need handled can only be handled by a county worker and you’re having a hard time getting a hold of them. And when you do get a hold of them, they’re very short with you. That gets difficult.

It’s definitely been tough to manage for as long as I’ve been here. I have learned to not take it personally, which I think I was doing too much of in the beginning. And we’re all here to advocate for the kids.

What are some misconceptions about foster care that you would like to address?

I feel like a lot of people, when I tell them I work in foster care with the kiddos, they assume that I’m taking the kids away from the home. I have to clear up that that’s not part of my job. I’m here on the back end, in the aftermath of everything, to cultivate those relationships and work towards permanency.

People think it’s difficult on a daily basis. A lot of people are like, wow, you’re so great for doing that every single day. To me, the day-to-day stuff, it’s not always super crazy. It’s not always super hectic. Sometimes you’re just going in to check in and most of it is paperwork.

I know that I’m making a difference on a larger scale, but on a day-to-day, it doesn’t feel as heroic as some people kind of see that it is. I actually feel like a mom half the time. I feel like I’m doing all of these little menial tasks to keep these kiddos and these parents happy.

And people think that these kids are coming in with these just outrageous, uncontrollable, the most awful behaviors. And a lot of times it’s not true. You do have kids that have bigger behavioral problems than others. All of them are traumatized, but most of them are just dealing with the aftermath of everything and trying to get back on their two feet, learning to trust people again. We’re pushing them to take advantage of the resources that we and the county and every other system in place for foster kids has, to get them at a better point in their life than maybe they were when they first entered the system.

What is a particularly impactful moment that you’ve had while working in AFS?

My first adoption that I was a part of was with a family that I had started off a little bit rocky. They had had a caseworker that they loved for many years, so they were very wary of any new person coming in. I was very new. I was fresh out of grad school and we started off on the wrong foot a little bit, but we were able to find her footing and the resource parent was able to trust me.

But I had a lot of difficulty breaking through with the older teen in that home. I think they were 16 at the time and they had come into care with their younger brother who was around one to two years old. It was a big age gap. It was great that the resource parent decided to take both of them in because not a lot of people would do that.

Eventually we got to adoption day, and I hadn’t gotten a lot out with this kiddo. She hadn’t shared a lot with me. I didn’t feel like we had a really good bond or a strong relationship. During my last session they cried, and I cried. It was so crazy to me to see that I had moved somebody, or I had cultivated a relationship so positively with somebody who I didn’t think I did.

I felt like I was going to leave a little defeated, not feeling like I did enough. That whole moment we shared together, it just solidified that I did, I made at least a little bit of a difference in this person’s life. I helped her and her brother get adopted. It was great and it was wonderful. I think I cried the entire car ride home.

What is an interesting fact about you that others might not expect?

I played soccer for the majority of my life. I think I started when I was four, and I think I ended competitively when I was 19.

Are there any other stories that you’d like to share?

All of my adoptions – for a while, I was a part of a lot of adoptions. And they were all very bittersweet because you were seeing this family be permanently together.

And I’ve had a handful of 18-year-olds too, just watching them and helping them go from a resource home to a THP or to college. I actually have one that I’m discharging this weekend and she’s off to UCLA and it’s great. It’s wonderful to see them succeed and maybe also watch them to see that what we were talking about in the resource home was right.

What’s one piece of advice you would provide to someone who is starting out in a similar role?

Self-care. Take the time to just take care of yourself even though we have deadlines on things. If you need to take a night to not do anything, take that night. It’s very easy to get burnt out in this role and this field and in general. We are on call 24/7, but sometimes not every phone call or text needs to be answered right away – just taking time for yourself and making sure you don’t get burnt out. And if you feel you’re going to get burnt out, taking that vacation or taking a sick day or just taking some time.